Least: The Song Study
An honest message of desperation and hope.
Through the hazy fog of a head bunged up with a cold, the desperation and unworthiness weighed so much heavier.
I opened the Bible with barely the strength or faith to pray that it would open somewhere helpful; remind me why I’m even bothering singing when I’m clearly not good enough.
This isn’t one of those stories where I tell you I found a totally spot-on Bible verse that hit home deeply, and caused a total transformation. Truthfully, I don’t remember whether I found anything or not, but what happened in the next 15 minutes was a time of really authentic, honest worship.
I started asking God to take my pride away. I had got stuck comparing myself to others, trying to be better and failing in bitter disappointment. But God never asked me to be the best, He just asked me to sing. Any pursuit of greatness, any comparison with skilled singers, any frustration in my own gift, is pride.
Through stuffy, stifled breaths and a cracking voice, I asked weakly, “Lord, please make me least.”
The prayer was lyrics. Sometimes I’ll note my thoughts down and return to them later to add a melody, but this was a song as soon as I spoke it. I recorded the chorus straight away on my phone, leaning over my tissue-strewn table, and hummed it through the morning, adding verses as they came to me.
In fact, I found it so rough and jumbled and rudimentary, I tried to re-write the lyrics three times over the following 6 months. Finally, I decided its ‘realness’ was its beauty, and in March 2017 I shared it with my church; accepting all its flaws as a demonstration of choosing to be ‘least’ over perfect.
Weak, Desperate, Chosen.
These are the three things that I hope you'll take away from Least
Asking to be made even weaker, for my flaws and areas of lack to be even more exposed, so that God’s strength, miracles and grace would be even more obvious.
If God can use me despite all my flaws and imperfections, in all the areas I seem so weak compared to other singers, then it would be undeniable that the reason behind my success is not my own strength but his. That way, the glory goes to God and not me.
Seeking that place of desperation, where I know I need God for every little thing in my life. Only then can I really be humble, knowing that “He is the vine, I am the branches. Without Him I can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
I’m asking God to take first place, to keep me humble and keep him on the throne of my life. Complacency or luke-warm ‘religion’ is just a waste of the gift of life he’s given me.
Rejoicing and declaring that I was chosen for this purpose. (In my case that’s singing, but we’ll all have different calls meant solely for us.) So regardless of how (un)suitable or (un)worthy I feel, I trust that God knows better.
And in moments like these when I feel rejected and not good enough, the song remembers that this is just a passing moment. I’ll go through rejection plenty of times, but God still looks at me and sees potential. I just need to trust that He is still there, egging me on!
You can download Least here. If you’ve already done so then thank you for supporting me, and I really hope you enjoy listening and it helps you to worship.
Please do get in touch if you’ve listened and enjoyed Least, or if you’d like to chat about anything you’ve read here. 🙂
God bless you <3